WadeWilson wrote:I haven't been the same since I left Q-League. Every time I close my eyes, I am haunted by those London players whose rating points we took. I cannot escape the screams they made when we flagged them – their angry messages, forum posts and reports. We were degens, high on 3+2 blitz. Nothing mattered to us except the next flag, and the amphetamines Yusupov forced on us to keep our players in the league.
I can no longer hold my dakimakura at night. I still love Makima-chan, with all my heart - but I now know what my hands can do, and I'm terrified of what they could still. Instead, I lie awake, staring into the dark, visions of broken Stonewalls flashing behind my eyes.
In my brief moments of sleep, I find myself back in that familiar 4C division, surrounded by the enemy. Only there do I feel truly at home. I feel the weight of the mouse in my hand; a stray bead of sweat across my brow. As Aoi Yuuki – Ganbare! Kumoko San No Theme starts playing, in sync with the disembodied lichess voice counting down the seconds, I once more jump into the fray.
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